Jim Craig

Basics:

Jim Craig, AKA The Man From Snowy River, is the hero of the film "The Man from Snowy River." This 1982 film made in Australia was based on the Banjo Paterson poem of the same name. Jim is orphaned (as a grown man) and forced to fight for his right to live on the land his father once owned. Jim battles the troublesome Brumby Mob, wild horses and ornery cattle, as well as the judgmental father and antagonizing would-be-suitor of the woman he loves.

Pros:

Dude can ride him some horses.

The way he says "Jess" will melt your heart.

Wears a super cool hat (doesn't he, NT?)

Can tame a horse without breaking his spirit...and does the same with women.

Hails from Snowy River, God's country for sure.

You won't have any in-laws to deal with.

Cons:

Is in love with a woman with the biggest jawbone I've ever seen.

Sometimes puts cattle driving ahead of his woman.

Is defiant to a fault.

Probably stinks from being in the wild for weeks.

Gabriel Allon

[No photo currently exists. No doubt to protect his identity.]

Basics:
Gabriel Allon is the heroic protagonist and literary creation of best-selling fiction writer Daniel Silva. Gabriel is an agent/assassin in Mossad, the secret intelligence service of the State of Israel. Gabriel works undercover as restorer of priceless works of art, specializing in the Old Masters.

Pros:
Is good with his hands, good with his guns.
Doesn't kill for fun, but gets the job done.
Made things right after Black September.
Is at home in Israel or in Italy, where he's friends with the Pope.
Is highly intelligent, speaks several languages, knows his art.
Faithful to his loved ones; a reluctant assassin.
Understands the threat of Islamic terrorists and doesn't let bureaucratic cowards get in his way.

Cons:
Has a guilt complex he can't rid himself of.
Can't say no to the Memuneh.
Is getting up in years.
Doesn't love Sarah back.
Gets beat up (badly) in nearly every plot.
I have no idea what he looks like. (That's what imaginations are for.)

Westley AKA Farmboy

Basics:

Westley is the protagonist hero of The Princess Bride, a 1987 film, based on the 1973 novel of the same name by William Goldman. For more details, click here.

Pros:
His name is NOT Inigo Montoya
Can defend you against ROUS's
Can swordfight with both hands
Has built up an immunity to poison
Answers your every request with "As you wish"

Cons:
Is a pirate by trade (when he's not a farmboy)
Is always fighting for his life, and usually yours
Has some strange friends, most of whom are ex-enemies
Will die by torture---no, inconceivable!

Gilbert Blythe

Basics:

According to Wikipedia, Gilbert Blythe is the rival, friend, love interest, and eventual husband of Anne Shirley in Lucy Maud Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series of novels. Gilbert is described in the books as being very handsome, with dark, curly hair and hazel eyes. He is tall with a lean build. In his youth, he seems aware of his good looks and popularity with the girls, therefore, he was somewhat smug and self-assured. Anne's dismissal of his affections, however, seem to ground him, and he matures and is well-liked by many. Throughout the series, Gilbert is depicted as a fair, practical and reliable man, who is inclined to have a "common sense" view of things. Keenly intelligent, he has a strong wit and sense of humour. He eventually becomes a highly-respected doctor in the town of Glen St. Mary, PEI, where he lives with his wife Anne and their seven children.

Pros:

Is man enough to take all that "Anne with an E" can dish out

Doesn't go from girl to girl once he knows what he wants

Has an adventurous spirit and playful sense of humor

Isn't afraid of Marilla Cuthbert (Lord knows I am!)

Is a doctor so you can save on medical bills

Cons:

Apparently doesn't know how to use birth control

May resort to pulling your hair or calling you names

Has long bouts of Scarlet Fever and will be one more person you have to take care of (even though he's a doctor!)

Theodore Laurence AKA Laurie/Teddy

Basics:

Called Theodore by his grandfather, Laurie by his friends, and Teddy by the woman he loved most, Theodore Laurence was the charming, playful, and rich young man who lived next door to the March family in the novel Little Women written by American author Louisa May Alcott and published in 1868. The story revolves around the lives and loves of four sisters growing up during the Civil War. Josephine "Jo" March is my favorite character and the star of the novel. Jo is a tomboy who is very outspoken and has a passion for writing. Her bold nature often gets her into trouble...one notable mistake (in my opinion) was turning down Teddy's proposal!

Pros:

Literary, artsy, loves music and plays the piano

Articulate and well-traveled

Handsome, rich, immaculately dressed

Young and wild at heart; playful and fun

Intelligent and an accomplished lawyer

Cons:

A lawyer

From a dysfunctional family; won't go against the old man

Could marry your sister

Might grow up to be a Bat

Gives up at "no" too easily

The Scarlet Pimpernel

Basics:

The Scarlet Pimpernel, AKA Sir Percy Blakeney, is the hero of a novel (and later play/movie/musical) written by Baroness Emmuska Orczy, set during the Reign of Terror following the French Revolution. He is the leader of a secret society of 19 English aristocrats, the "League of the Scarlet Pimpernel." Together, they are engaged in rescuing their French counterparts from the daily executions. The mysterious Scarlet Pimpernel takes his nickname from the drawing of a small red flower with which he signs his messages. He hides his true identity behind the persona of a dull, slow-witted fop in order to deceive the world. They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven, or in hell? That damned elusive Pimpernel!

Pros:

Courageous with no need to be applauded

A man of honor and loyalty

Fights for what's good and right

Willing to die to save others

British: well-dressed, well-spoken, well-mannered

Sink me! The man's a poet!

Says things like this to his lover: "You must tell me all about yourself, in every detail, but oh, so slowly, so very slowly, so that it takes a very, very long time."

Cons:

Wears wigs and plays dress-up

Has identity issues and multiple personalities

Doesn't tell his wife the truth

Nearly dies...quite a bit

Your friends and family will all think him a fool

The Phantom of the Opera*

Basics:

According to Wikipedia, The Phantom of the Opera (in French, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra) is a French novel by Gaston Leroux. Initially, the novel sold very poorly and was even out of print several times during the twentieth century. Today, it is considered to be a classic of French literature. It has since been adapted many times into film and stage productions, including the notable Andrew Lloyd Weber 1986 musical starring Michael Crawford (ahem!) as the Phantom. (Side note: The Phantom of the Opera musical is now the longest running Broadway show in history and the most lucrative entertainment enterprise of all time, its worldwide box office over the past 20 years out-grossing even the highest grossing film in history, Titanic.) For more information on the story itself, see here.

Pros:
Dude can sing

A one-woman man

Misunderstood romantic side that appeals to women

He's French

Cons:

He's French

VERY jealous lover

Has stalker/might kidnap you/kill your boyfriend/raving lunatic tendencies

Not so easy on the eyes

Lives in the sewer

History of extortion and violence

*Upon review, it seems that Erik AKA The Phantom may not be a man worth marrying after all. Turns out he's got some really serious cons stacked against him. But when I say "dude can sing," I mean dude can REALLY sing.

Mr. Darcy

Basics:
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy is a fictional character, the hero in Jane Austen's novel extraordinaire Pride and Prejudice. He woos and wins the heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, with his august moral character and lines like these: "By you I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased."

Pros*:
See romantic prose above
Wealthy
Well-connected
Fabulously handsome on the BBC
Dresses well
Rides horses
Plays hard-to-get

Cons:
Plays hard-to-get
Superiority complex
Not a suitable match (your parents would love him, but his wouldn't love you)
Given to believing gossip
Taken by our dear Miss Bennet

*Too many to list, people!